Melissa Aratani Kwee

Melissa Aratani Kwee- an inspiring woman

I remembered her from the Project Access leadership workshop while I was studying at TKGS, in 1998. And did a search on her profile and had interesting finds...

Abstract:

Melissa Aratani Kwee is the oldest daughter (she has three younger sisters and brother) of Kwee Liong Tek and his Japanese American wife, a property tycoon who is the chairman of Pontiac Land - her family owns post properties such as Millenia Walk, Ritz Carlton and Conrad International). Her heritage includes being the granddaughter of George Aratani – the Kenwood electronics-empire founder, who became her role model. (She adapted his surname, Aratani, as her middle name as a sign of respect) Her family instilled in her a 'very strong ethic or value of playing your part, doing your bit and contributing what you have'.

This Harvard anthropology graduate has chosen to be a social activist beneath her well-cut clothes and transatlantic accent, as oppose to the life of a socialite. As a result, she often exudes a quiet conviction, self-confidence and a social conscience that money cannot buy. She has stated that “money is only a tool - use it but do not let it use you.” As a result, she has a definite idea of how she wants to spend the rest of her life - to make a difference in other people's lives.

As a girl, she says, she was always hatching plans to 'solve the world's problems'. Her teenage years including participating in various social service projects, such as raising funds for flood victims, trying to save the rainforests in Malaysia, worked with a conversation group in Nepal (where she learn how to speak Nepali and taught English at a local high school) and reading to depressed teenagers at Woodbridge hospital.

Upon her graduation from Harvard, she returned to Singapore in 1995 and set up a non-profit group for the development of women and youth called Project Access. She attributes her heightened social consciousness to the school she attended here, United World College, and its 'incredibly-compelling vision of young people being a positive force in their communities'.

Melissa spends much of her time doing corporate communications for the Pontiac Land group while sitting on a number of organizations such as the United Nations Development Fund for Women (Unifem), the Singapore Repertory Theatre and the United World College school board, either doing review work or 'organizing, advocating or connecting people. This in addition to her activities of speaking to youths or conducting workshops on various topics like volunteering, global awareness, leadership and family, or dabbling in schemes from Aids awareness projects to fundraisers for East Timor.

She subscribes to the proverb “To those to whom much has been given, much is expected.”

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in depth...

The more you have, the more you give
Ms Melissa Aratani Kwee could have led the life of a socialite but chose to be a social activist. The child of a property tycoon and granddaughter of the Kenwood electronics-empire founder says money is only a tool - use it but do not let it use you.

By Susan Long; POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT, The Straits Times, Singapore,
July 27th, 2001


Members of a community should help each other out, says Ms Kwee, who is grateful for her family's support. -- WANG HUI FEN

ONE label that will never stick on Ms Melissa Aratani Kwee is 'poor little rich girl'.

The eldest child of property tycoon Kwee Liong Tek, chairman of Pontiac Land, and his Japanese-American wife exudes a quiet conviction, self-confidence and a social conscience money cannot buy.

There is nothing 'mis-spent' or 'lost' about her.

At 29, beneath the well-cut clothes and transatlantic accent, this Harvard anthropology graduate has a definite idea of how she wants to spend the rest of her life - to make a difference in other people's
lives.

As a girl, she says, she was always hatching plans to 'solve the world's problems'.

While her teenage counterparts were making romantic forays, she spent her wonder years pursuing an array of social service projects, such as raising funds for flood victims, trying to save the rainforests in Malaysia and reading to depressed teenagers at Woodbridge hospital.

She even worked with a conservation group in Nepal, where she learnt Nepali and taught English at a local high school.

As soon as she graduated from Harvard university, she returned here in 1995 and set up a non-profit group for the development of women and youth called Project Access.

She attributes her heightened social consciousness to the school sheatt ended here, United World College, and its 'incredibly-compelling vision of young people being a positive force in their communities'.

It helps that she really likes people.

She makes it a point to chirp a breezy 'Hi' to counter staff and everyone else who meets her eye at Millenia Walk, which her family owns, along with other posh properties like the Ritz Carlton and
Conrad International.

Another strong influence was her family, which imbued in her a 'very strong ethic or value of playing your part, doing your bit and contributing what you have'.

She and her three younger sisters and brother made it a point to do thoughtful things for each other, like writing little notes, giving flowers, putting toothpaste on each other's toothbrush in the
morning.

'They are just small, stupid things but there was always a sense that you can do a small thing to make somebody's day,' she says.

She remembers many balmy summers spent in Los Angeles horseback riding, doing arts and crafts and getting to know her Japanese-American grandfather, Mr George Aratani, the founder of the Kenwood electronics empire and an avid philanthropist, who became her role model.

When her grandfather turned 80 last year, she adopted his surname, Aratani, as her middle name as a sign of respect.

YOGA AND FUND-RAISERS

THE three tenets of this self-assured woman's life are to be 'peaceful, social and find something to learn'.

These days, she spends half her waking hours doing corporate communications for the Pontiac Land group.

To unwind, she hangs out with friends, 'checking out new and different things, whether it's food or places or activities', runs and goes for yoga classes.

She also sits on a slew of committees, such as the United Nations Development Fund for Women (Unifem), the Singapore Repertory Theatre and the United World College school board, either doing review work or 'organising, advocating or connecting people'.

Otherwise, she is speaking to youths or conducting workshops on various topics like volunteering, global awareness, leadership and family, or dabbling in schemes from Aids awareness projects to
fundraisers for East Timor.

Of course, she knows people can be snide about her monied background and her lack of a 'real job', and pin her public-spiritedness down to a rich girl having too much time on her hands.

'What can I say? If I believed it I would feel bad about it, but I don't believe it so it just rolls off my back,' she says.

'A lot of people I went to school with in the US were very well- educated and came from very affluent backgrounds but they tried so hard to refute the fact that they were from that background. I saw
that as such a waste. I thought that there was a lot more they could be doing with their lives than trying to prove to people that they were no different.

'It doesn't mean that I shouldn't try to make a living, it doesn't mean I should sit at home and do all kinds of frivolous activities. I think it's a responsibility, and it's something I don't feel obliged
to do but it's something I want to do.

'In this sense, it's expected but it's expected really out of a recognition that we have a lot,' she says. 'As the proverb goes: To those to whom much has been given, much is expected. So you give out
of recognition of what you have.'
____

Link> UNIFEM, March 2004. Trafficking of Women and Girls

Dear UNIFEM Singapore members and friends,

A warm welcome to you from all of us at the UN Development Fund for Women, Singapore!

This bi-monthly edition of UNIFEM Affairs will focus on Trafficking of Persons. As you may know, the illegal trafficking of women and girls is a growing trend that is abducting, buying and selling human beings often for the purposes of forced labor, often in the sex industry.

UNIFEM Affairs explores the dynamics, sources, and opportunities to combat trafficking of these women and children.

We have included personal stories in Your Say as well as accounts from women who have helped trafficked victims. We would like to thank our readers and volunteers on our Batam project for their contributions and research on the topic.

In the Focus section, we are proud to present an informative piece about the situation of girls and women and those trafficked in the Philippines. We would like to thank Judge Ninfa C. Vilches from the Philippines for this eye-opening article.

Please read through our In The Field for updates of projects and events and press releases and news of UNIFEM New York.

Help UNIFEM Singapore and other organizations STOP THE TRAFFICKING OF WOMEN AND GIRLS. Please help us circulate the information and educate our family, friends, colleagues and neighbors.

We can each do something small to help stop trafficking and empower women to lead healthy, prosperous and independent lives.

Yours sincerely,
Melissa Kwee
President
UN Development Fund for Women, Singapore

Claire Chiang

Claire Chiang

April 21, 2005

As the vice-president of an upscale chain of resorts, you'd expect Claire Chiang to luxuriate in an opulent lifestyle.

Photograper: JOYCE FANG

But the 53-year-old managing director, retail operations, of Banyan Tree Gallery is no stranger to travelling in economy class.
And she owns only one designer bag and gown.
Her still unused four-year-old Salvatore Ferragamo bag was a gift from 'a very dear friend', and her Benny Ong original is 'over a decade old'.
The bulk of her wardrobe consists of custom-made designs and coordinates sourced during her travels.
Today, the mother of three children aged 11 to 22 is clad in a self-designed reversible square vest.
A fan of 'interesting Asian ethnic pieces', she also has a soft spot for silver pieces which complement her tanned complexion.
'But I don't sunbathe,' she says. 'I was born a black baby.'
The former Nominated MP also professes to be not much of a strappy shoe girl.
And age, she says, has made heels 'increasingly difficult to walk in'.
Even under the most elegant of gowns, she's likely to be sporting a pair of sturdy boots because 'nobody can tell what I wear underneath'.
Ask her where to find the best shoes and her answer is a swift one.
'China has damn good shoes. At a good price too.'
Her bagI like artistic bags like this, which I bought in Hong Kong for under $100. Branded bags are too delicate and small for me. The way I use bags, I would scratch them up.

1. Hair kitAll these items are essential for my long hair. When the wind is blowing I use the clip to get it out of the way. And if I'm going out at night, the stick will bun it up. The perfume bottle contains hairspray. To tidy up my hair, I simply comb and spray.

2. Photo bookletMy daughter Ren Yung gave this to me for my 52nd birthday. As you can see, my three children are named after trees. I kept this in my wallet until I developed a phobia of it being stolen. I'd rather my wallet stolen than this.

3. Sunglasses and caseI bought these in 1978 in Hong Kong when I was a newly-wed. I think they're pretty groovy, and they're the only pair I wear today.

4. Singapore Compact brochureAs president of Singapore Compact (a private organisation which promotes corporate citizenry), I'm actively trying to get different companies involved in social responsibility. I carry these around to give out, and I just gave two out yesterday. We believe that no longer should businesses be there just for profits. They should also be stakeholders in building the community.

5. NotebookI was travelling from Bangkok to Laos recently in a small plane when I was overcome with a sense of claustrophobia. To help me breathe and take my mind off my fear, I wrote down my thoughts using my left hand even though I'm right-handed. I like travelling, but I don't like flying. Each time I do, it's a major process for me.

6. Hem-pickerI have a Linus syndrome with this - it's my security blanket and I've carried it with me for 30 years. It's great for getting rid of loose threads and splinters. I've used it on my children as well as my husband and myself.

7. Banyan Tree alarm and key chainI used to carry a whistle for security reasons, but this key chain can give out a very loud alarm that goes on and on. I've given all the female staff of Banyan Tree Gallery one and it's selling very well at our shops.

_________
>>
Ms Claire Chang is the President of Singapore Compact, an initiative that was started to forward Corporate Social Responsibility. She is also the Executive Director of the Banyan Tree Gallery. She responds to shareholders?complaints as to why its hard earned profits go to NPOs (Non-Profit Organizations).

CC: I don’t think it’s tested assumption and we should test it, that shareholders do complain about companies doing well. There is literature that has shown, copious amounts of literature, that big companies and what they’re doing has brought about a better reputation, a brand following, customer loyalty and a bigger market share. So there is enough literature to actually convince us that doing good does not necessarily mean the company is losing out and for shareholders today, there is a change in demographic, a change in patterns and market patterns. People are sensitive to choosing companies that actually adopt CSR. I also think it has to be a top management endorsement that can be translated into a proper company policy that you put out to the market, and the market therefore chooses and selects. That option should be given.

Ms Chang also goes into what can be done to forward the corporate mind set of giving.

CC: It’s important to have it in your AGM (Annual General Meeting) and I would truly encourage corporations here to establish a position called a Manager for CSR or extend your HR functions to include CSR. But until it adopts at the top management level, it’s not going to filter down to corporations. Once it’s adopted by top management, this spirit of giving and then the pattern of giving naturally follows. There won’t be so much struggling by NPOs to get that dollar because the top management agrees, they’re committed to a certain cause, there’s continuity and persistence in the cause and it will snowball. Why corporations are giving on a very ad hoc basis is because of leadership changes: they are interested in different things and different charities. So we do not have consistent continuity. Whereas if corporations adopt very specific causes and increase the depth of donations and the width of understanding, there is more chance of having good corporation giving. I will therefore urge the NPOs to sharpen their skills in marketing their cause. You are the ones running the social causes so you know and you’re passionate about it so learn to make good presentations. What this needs is enlightened self-interest at the corporate level and the NPOs sharpening their marketing skills and not take for granted that they needn’t account for the dollars given and go back to your donors to explain, to present and appreciate your donors as well.

Miuccia Prada

Miuccia Prada

May 28, 2005
EVER since a rucksack made of industrial parachute nylon sent women - and counterfeiters - into a tizzy in the 1980s, one name has remained firmly on the lips of fashion troopers everywhere: Miuccia Prada.

The woman behind fashion house Prada, Time magazine recently named the Italian - the only fashion designer on the list - one of the 100 Most Influential People in the world last month.
But for all the greatness that is thrust upon one of the most copied fashion designers, she is a little self-deprecative and not what you imagine her to be in person. She tells Life! of the Time Magazine accolade: 'It's a compliment. But I don't deliberately work towards such ends.'
The 55-year-old was in Shanghai last Wednesday night for the opening of a Prada exhibition, Waist Down, at the Peace Hotel. Curated by OMA-AMO, the design collective headed by acclaimed Dutch architect Rem Koolhaas, it showcases a collection of Prada skirts since her first womenswear collection in 1989.
Seeking an audience with Mrs Prada - as she is known to her staff - is near impossible. The fiercely shy woman is rarely photographed and she never takes a bow at the end of runways unlike flashier contemporaries like Giorgio Armani or Donatella Versace.
Her reserved nature was apparent when she was spotted touring the exhibition with an entourage of minders earlier during the day. The subject of countless cameras wielded by gawking reporters in full-on Prada garb, she appeared to be uncomfortable and a bundle of nerves.
Her media shyness, possibly, explains why she routinely turns down interviews - even from established international press, say her staff. For example, this reporter's repeated requests for an interview over the years have always been met with a flat 'No' from the headquarters in Italy.

But by a stroke of good fortune, I chanced upon her at a party held in her honour at the Peace Hotel's club-room bar. Unblocked by minders, she was in a cosy tete-a-tete with her husband, Patrizio Bertelli, 58, the CEO of her company.
In the flesh, the designer is petite - about 1.53m-tall - and strides about elegantly in 5-inch stiletto heels. Her peroxide-tipped brown hair is held back by a headband - a look which is now popping out from fashion magazines everywhere. Her handsome face bears little make-up.
Her purple shirt embellished with antique brooches and her black, knee-length full skirt whisper good taste.

Unlike her discomforted self a few hours earlier, she seems much more spritely and relaxed. She acknowledges you with a firm handshake and does not seem bothered to have been interrupted in mid-conversation with her husband, who moves quietly away in the course of the 10-minute exchange she has with Life!.
Up close, she is polite to a fault. She smiles and giggles quite a bit, displaying a demeanour that is surprisingly girlish despite her glamorous school-marmish appearance.

Reluctant heiress
BUT while she is happy to talk about her exhibition - she tells you excitedly she is impressed with the Shanghai exhibition and prefers it to 'the one at the Tokyo Prada flagship store last year' - she is hard to pin down on just about everything else.
Ask her for her idea of sexiness and she pleads: 'The place and time is not right to talk about this. Can we talk about some other topics?'

What does she think of the fashion world calling her an 'intellectual designer'?
'I don't consciously try to be intelligent in my designs. If people see it in my designs, then the intellectual aspect is an accidental consequence,' she says, without elaborating.
Though she tries to be cooperative, she clearly does not want to give herself away. Her answers often border on philosophical musings and do little to dispel her reputation among fashion cognoscenti as a serious fashion intellectual.
As befitting someone who does not suffer fools, her voice is quiet and her manner straightforward yet intimate. Her English is near-perfect though the way she rolls her Rs hints at a delicate Venetian accent.

'All I do is design'
While some topics such as her personal life are off-limits, her eyes light up when she talks about design. She says she hates to spend too much time designing as it leads to her fussing and over-thinking. She also prefers to work with colours and influences she instinctively dislikes. 'It's too easy to do what I like. There's no challenge.'
And if her clothes could talk, they would probably be singing about how, with scary prescience, she has defined several key fashion moments in the past decade (see other story).
In the presence of fashion giant Prada, a visitor visits the Waist Down exhibition of the brand's skirts at the Peace Hotel in Shanghai. The show is on till May 31. -- PHOTO: REUTERS
If she seems to operate from a discreet distance, away from the over-the-top antics of fashion, it is because she is literally cut from a different cloth.

When she inherited the business from her grandfather, she was a reluctant heiress to a luxury bag empire, with no formal training in fashion design. A trained mime artist from Milan's Teatro Piccolo, she is also armed with a PhD in political science from Milan State University. Her final-year thesis was on the Italian Communist Party and state education.

As a student, she had reservations about taking over the family business. She was unable to reconcile her interest in fashion with her fondness for politics, despite wearing Yves Saint Laurent and Courreges (both French labels) while distributing political leaflets as an active Communist Party member.

She lets up with a certain unease when asked if there are still contradictions between her political convictions and what she is now. 'The problem is that to be a fashion designer you're supposed to be stupid. I hate the idea of appearing like an intellectual and so I indulge in a certain camouflage,' she says.

Her contradictory personality is certainly reflected in her label's unconventional and idiosyncratic aesthetics. Just as the designer is quirky yet undiscernible, her clothes are conservative yet with a twist, and always with a hint of intelligence and depth.
Her oblique approach to fashion, informed invariably by her political sensibilities, also lends a certain integrity in her work sometimes lacking in other designers.

Still, Prada, who claims to 'get crazy over a pair of pink shoes', is ambivalent about her guilty pleasure - fashion. 'I go around thinking that my work is somehow superficial and unintelligent. That fashion shouldn't be given so much time or consideration,' she says, furrowing her brow.
'But fashion is only as stupid as industrial design or architecture or anything aesthetic in life. But fashion is more serious than these, no? It's what you put on yourself, what you present to others. It has so many implications - psychological, social and personal.'
At this point, her Italian personal assistant interrupts and requests politely for the chat to end. What makes her label so ahead of its time, so fashionable, one asks hurriedly.
'Why is Prada so fashionable?' she says to herself. 'I don't know. All I do is design.'
And for that, Prada-philes have two words for her: Miuccia gracias.
Waist Down is on at the Peace Hotel, 20 Nanjing Road East, in Shanghai till May 31.

Love triangle
HOW Prada and its discreet inverted triangular logo became the success fashion story of the 1990s reads like the plot of a 1980s mini-series.
The Italian brand was started by Miuccia Prada's grandfather Mario in 1913 and was subsequently taken over by her mother Luisa in 1958 after his death. When Miuccia took over the reins in 1971, Prada specialised in luxury leather trunks and suitcases for wealthy Milanese.
Prada's quantum leap into the fashion stratosphere only came in 1978, the year she met her husband, Patrizio Bertelli, now the CEO of her company, Prada Group.

Legend has it that they met at a factory that was producing leather products for both of them. The company Mr Bertelli was working for at the time was ripping off Prada's designs.
The two rivals, however, went into partnership and then fell in love. Or as Mr Bertelli told British magazine Arena Homme Plus: 'Miuccia was such a first-rate worker and designer, I knew it would be cheaper in the long run to marry her.' They have two teenage sons, Lorenzo and Giulio.

Her creative vision combined with his entrepreneurial zest transformed Prada not only into a commercial success, but also something of a cultural phenomenon, referenced in a novel (The Devil Wears Prada) and shows like Sex And The City.
Today the family business has blossomed into a US$2 billion (S$3.25 billion) privately-owned multi-brand fashion empire that not only houses Prada and Miu Miu, the designer's nickname and second line, but also Helmut Lang, Jil Sander and Azzedine Alaia, brands that share similar aesthetics.

From bags and shoes to the first womenswear collection (1989), the Miu Miu line (1993), menswear (1994), Prada Sport (1997) and Prada Beauty (2000), Prada constantly redefines luxury, subtlety and desirability in fashion.

In the early 1990s, Prada pioneered utilitarian chic at a time when excess was all the rage. In 1997, Prada Sport pre-empted the sports-fashion union that has now become a mainstream selling opportunity.

Last year, she popularised the 1940s glamorous, sexy librarian look and introduced robot-charms - looks that were copied by all and sundry.
This year, she stunned the colour-happy fashion industry by declaring black as, well, the new black.

While Prada may have divorced herself from her leftist politics, she has since channelled her energies to other loftier disciplines like art and architecture.

A case in point is Fondazione Prada, the art foundation she founded in 1993 which is active in promoting various art forms including independent art-house flicks.
There is also the brand's commitment to building one-of-a-kind epicentres, designed by architectural heavyweights like Rem Koolhaas (New York and Los Angeles) and Herzog & De Meuron (Tokyo).

'I've always been more interested in these disciplines first than fashion. I never wanted to be in fashion. But as a woman I do love fashion,' she says. 'Actually, I love clothes, which is different. I don't like the fashion world as much.' -- Lionel Seah

Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina (CEO, HP)

thought-provoking read

Commencement Address
at the North Carolina Agricultural & Technical State University on May 7

Thank you, Chancellor, and good morning. I'd like to join Chancellor Renick in welcoming all of you to the 114th commencement exercises of North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University.
My fellow job seekers : I am honored to be among the first to congratulate you on completing your years at North Carolina A&T. But all of you should know: as Mother's Day gifts go, this one is going to be tough to beat in the years ahead.

The purpose of a commencement speaker is to dispense wisdom. But the older I get, the more I realize that the most important wisdom I've learned in life has come from my mother and my father. Before we go any further, let's hear it one more time for your mothers and mother figures, fathers and father figures, family, and friends in the audience today.

When I first received the invitation to speak here, I was the CEO of an $80 billion Fortune 11 company with 145,000 employees in 178 countries around the world. I held that job for nearly six years. It was also a company that hired its fair share of graduates from North Carolina A&T. You could always tell who they were. For some reason, they were the ones that had stickers on their desks that read, " Beat the Eagles. "
But as you may have heard, I don't have that job anymore. After the news of my departure broke, I called the school, and asked: do you still want me to come and be your commencement speaker?
Chancellor Renick put my fears to rest. He said, " Carly, if anything, you probably have more in common with these students now than you did before. " And he's right. After all, I've been working on my resume. I've been lining up my references. I bought a new interview suit. If there are any recruiters here, I'll be free around 11.
I want to thank you for having me anyway. This is the first public appearance I've made since I left HP. I wanted very much to be here because this school has always been set apart by something that I've believed very deeply; something that takes me back to the earliest memories I have in life.
One day at church, my mother gave me a small coaster with a saying on it. During my entire childhood, I kept this saying in front of me on a small desk in my room. In fact, I can still show you that coaster today. It says : " What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God. "
Those words have had a huge impact on me to this day. What this school and I believe in very deeply is that when we think about our lives, we shouldn't be limited by other people's stereotypes or bigotry. Instead, we should be motivated by our own sense of possibility. We should be motivated by our own sense of accomplishment. We should be motivated by what we believe we can become. Jesse Jackson has taught us; Ronald McNair taught us; the Greensboro Four taught us; that the people who focus on possibilities achieve much more in life than people who focus on limitations.
The question for all of you today is :

how will you define what you make of yourself?
To me, what you make of yourself is actually two questions. There's the "you" that people see on the outside. And that's how most people will judge you, because it's all they can see – what you become in life, whether you were made President of this, or CEO of that, the visible you.
But then, there's the invisible you, the "you" on the inside. That's the person that only you and God can see. For 25 years, when people have asked me for career advice, what I always tell them is don't give up what you have inside. Never sell your soul – because no one can ever pay you back.
What I mean by not selling your soul is don't be someone you're not, don't be less than you are, don't give up what you believe, because whatever the consequences that may seem scary or bad -- whatever the consequences of staying true to yourself are -- they are much better than the consequences of selling your soul.

You have been tested mightily in your life to get to this moment. And all of you know much better than I do: from the moment you leave this campus, you will be tested. You will be tested because you won't fit some people's pre-conceived notions or stereotypes of what you're supposed to be, of who you're supposed to be. People will have stereotypes of what you can or can't do, of what you will or won't do, of what you should or shouldn't do. But they only have power over you if you let them have power over you. They can only have control if you let them have control, if you give up what's inside.

I speak from experience. I've been there. I've been there, in admittedly vastly different ways -- and in many ways, in the fears in my heart, exactly the same places. The truth is I've struggled to have that sense of control since the day I left college.
I was afraid the day I graduated from college. I was afraid of what people would think. Afraid I couldn't measure up. I was afraid of making the wrong choices. I was afraid of disappointing the people who had worked so hard to send me to college.

I had graduated with a degree in medieval history and philosophy. If you had a job that required knowledge of Copernicus or 12th Century European monks, I was your person. But that job market wasn't very strong.

So, I was planning to go to law school, not because it was a lifelong dream – because I thought it was expected of me. Because I realized that I could never be the artist my mother was, so I would try to be the lawyer my father was. So, I went off to law school. For the first three months, I barely slept. I had a blinding headache every day. And I can tell you exactly which shower tile I was looking at in my parent's bathroom on a trip home when it hit me like a lightning bolt. This is my life. I can do what I want. I have control. I walked downstairs and said, " I quit. "
I will give my parents credit in some ways. That was 1976. They could have said, " Oh well, you can get married. " Instead, they said, " We're worried that you'll never amount to anything. " It took me a while to prove them wrong. My first job was working for a brokerage firm. I had a title. It was not "VP." It was "receptionist." I answered phones, I typed, I filed. I did that for a year. And then, I went and lived in Italy, teaching English to Italian businessmen and their families. I discovered that I liked business. I liked the pragmatism of it; the pace of it. Even though it hadn't been my goal, I became a businessperson.

I like big challenges, and the career path I chose for myself at the beginning was in one of the most male-dominated professions in America. I went to work for AT&T. It didn't take me long to realize that there were many people there who didn't have my best interests at heart.
I began my career as a first level sales person within AT&T's long lines department. Now, "long lines" is what we used to call the long distance business, but I used to refer to the management team at AT&T as the "42 longs" – which was their suit size, and all those suits – and faces – looked the same.

I'll never forget the first time my boss at the time introduced me to a client. With a straight face, he said " this is Carly Fiorina, our token bimbo. " I laughed, I did my best to dazzle the client, and then I went to the boss when the meeting was over and said, " You will never do that to me again. "

In those early days, I was put in a program at the time called the Management Development Program. It was sort of an accelerated up-or-out program, and I was thrown into the middle of a group of all male sales managers who had been there quite a long time, and they thought it was their job to show me a thing or two. A client was coming to town and we had decided that we were getting together for lunch to introduce me to this customer who was important to one of my accounts.

Now the day before this meeting was to occur, one of my male colleagues came to me and said, " You know, Carly, I'm really sorry. I know we've had this planned for a long time, but this customer has a favorite restaurant here in Washington, D.C., and they really want to go to that restaurant, and we need to do what the customer wants, and so I don't think you'll be able to join us."
"Why is that?" I asked. Well, the restaurant was called the Board Room. Now, the Board Room back then was a restaurant on Vermont Avenue in Washington, D.C., and it was a strip club. In fact, it was famous because the young women who worked there would wear these completely see-through baby doll negligees, and they would dance on top of the tables while the patrons ate lunch.
The customer wanted to go there, and so my male colleagues were going there. So I thought about it for about two hours. I remember sitting in the ladies room thinking, "Oh God, what am I going to do? And finally I came back and said, "You know, I hope it won't make you too uncomfortable, but I think I'm going to come to lunch anyway."

Now, I have to tell you I was scared to death. So the morning arrived when I had to go to the Board Room and meet my client, and I chose my outfit carefully. I dressed in my most conservative suit. I carried a briefcase like a shield of honor. I got in a cab. When I told the taxi driver where I wanted to go he whipped around in his seat and said, "You're kidding right?" I think he thought I was a new act.
In any event, I arrived, I got out, I took a deep breath, I straightened my bow tie, and went in the door - and you have to picture this - I go into the door, there's a long bar down one side, there's a stage right in front of me, and my colleagues are sitting way on the other side of the room. And there's a live act going on the stage. The only way I could get to them was to walk along that stage. I did. I looked like a complete idiot. I sat down, we had lunch.

Now, there are two ends to that story. One is that my male colleagues never did that to me again. But the other end to the story, which I still find inspiring, is that all throughout lunch they kept trying to get those young women to dance in their negligees on top of our table -- and every one of those young women came over, looked the situation over and said, "Not until the lady leaves."

It even followed me to HP. As you may know, the legend of HP is that it began in a garage. When I took over, we launched a get-back-to-basics campaign we called "the rules of the garage." A fellow CEO at a competitor saw that and decided to do a skit about me. In front of the entire financial analyst and media community, he had an actress come out with blond hair and long red nails and flashy clothes, and had a garage fall on her head. It made big headlines locally. It made me feel a lot like the "token bimbo" all over again.

I know all of you have your own stories. When you challenge other people's ideas of who or how you should be, they may try to diminish and disgrace you. It can happen in small ways in hidden places, or in big ways on a world stage. You can spend a lifetime resenting the tests, angry about the slights and the injustices. Or, you can rise above it. People's ideas and fears can make them small – but they cannot make you small. People's prejudices can diminish them – but they cannot diminish you. Small-minded people can think they determine your worth. But only you can determine your worth.

At every step along the way, your soul will be tested. Every test you pass will make you stronger.
But let's not be naïve. Sometimes, there are consequences to not selling your soul. Sometimes, there are consequences to staying true to what you believe. And sometimes, those consequences are very difficult. But as long as you understand the consequences and accept the consequences, you are not only stronger as a result, you're more at peace.

Many people have asked me how I feel now that I've lost my job. The truth is, I'm proud of the life I've lived so far, and though I've made my share of mistakes, I have no regrets. The worst thing I could have imagined happened. I lost my job in the most public way possible, and the press had a field day with it all over the world. And guess what? I'm still here. I am at peace and my soul is intact. I could have given it away and the story would be different. But I heard the word of Scripture in my head: "What benefit will it be to you if you gain the whole world, but lose your soul?"

When people have stereotypes of what you can't do, show them what you can do. When they have stereotypes of what you won't do, show them what you will do. Every time you pass these tests, you learn more about yourself. Every time you resist someone else's smaller notion of who you really are, you test your courage and your endurance. Each time you endure, and stay true to yourself, you become stronger and better.

I do not know any of you personally. But as a businessperson and a former CEO, I know that people who have learned to overcome much can achieve more than people who've never been tested. And I do know that this school has prepared you well. After all, North Carolina A&T graduates more African Americans with engineering degrees than any other school in the United States. It graduates more African American technology professionals than any other school. It graduates more African American women who go into careers in science, math, and technology than any other school. Your motto is right: North Carolina A&T is truly a national resource and a local treasure. And Aggie Pride is not just a slogan – it's a hard-earned fact!

Never sell your education short. And the fact that this school believed in you means you should never sell yourself short. What I have learned in 25 years of managing people is that everyone possesses more potential than they realize. Living life defined by your own sense of possibility, not by others notions of limitations, is the path to success.
Starting today, you are one of the most promising things America has to offer : you are an Aggie with a degree.

My hope is that you live life defined by your own sense of possibility, your own sense of worth, your own sense of your soul. Define yourself for yourself, not by how others are going to define you – and then stick to it. Find your own internal compass. I use the term compass, because what does a compass do? When the winds are howling, and the storm raging, and the sky is so cloudy you have nothing to navigate by, a compass tells you where true North is. And I think when you are in a lonely situation, you have to rely on that compass. Who am I? What do I believe? Do I believe I am doing the right thing for the right reason in the best way that I can? Sometimes, that's all you have. And always, it will be enough.
Most people will judge you by what they see on the outside. Only you and God will know what's on the inside. But at the end of your life, if people ask you what your greatest accomplishment was, my guess is, it will be something that happened inside you, that no one else ever saw, something that had nothing to do with outside success, and everything to do with how you decide to live in the world. What you are today is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God. He is waiting for that gift right now. Make it something extraordinary.

ST_women

May 25, 2005
Some thoughts on money - from a part-time pauper

by CYP

YOU might have met one or more of those kinds of people in social situations who ask: 'Do you know where you will be - financially - in five years?'

Or 'Will you have money working for you in a way that would let you retire by your 45th birthday?'
I'm not the sort to ask these personal questions. To me, they are acceptable only when asked by one's spouse or financial consultant. I have only one word for folk who ask this kind of questions: Annoying.
They are smug that they know where they will be in five years and that they will have money working for them in a way that would let them retire by their 45th birthday - and, worst of all, they talk like their way is the only way to go.
Since I don't belong in that camp, I got to thinking about where I stood on this.
Frankly, I turn cold reading about people who declare that they have got it all lined up - to make their first million by age 30, get married by 32 and retire at 40, having somehow also managed to grow a (meaningful) relationship and become a mum or dad along the way.
I lead a less-planned life. It seems enough for me to have some savings and a few insurance policies here and there - and occasionally realise that I've got more month than money left.
It makes life more ... interesting.
Yes, I do occasionally cast a querying glance at the future and all the surprises it holds, but life is also about the here and now and all its realness.
Sure, most of us can probably afford to put aside a couple hundred bucks a month in anticipation of a future, as-yet unknown emergency or luxury, but one can't deny the hedonistic pleasure of buying a friend a great meal, a trinket from Tiffany's and giving a surprise angpow to Mum or to an old folks' home - all on the same day.
Or the pleasure of knowing that one's credit card bills are a lot smaller the month after that - general caution spiced with occasional splurges is how I go about things.
Still, at my age, thoughts turn to retirement. I'll be 45 later this year and I sure as hell won't be in retirement by then, but I do wonder (not worry) now when that will happen and whether I will be well provided for enough to live comfortably when a steady source of income is gone.
Of course, 'comfortably' is pretty subjective. Think about what you earn now, and what you would need to be 'comfortable' when you retire - in terms of the value of the dollar when you retire, mind you.
So if you earn, say $4,000 now and reckon you can be 'comfortable' with $2,800 when you retire, the $2,800 of today will probably buy quite a bit less when you do retire.
CPF savings? Don't count on that to see you through old age. Most of us are using the bulk of it to service mortgages, so there will probably not be enough in there - especially for people who end up living beyond 75.
You might think of buying insurance as a form of savings, but you might also want to think about committing too much of your take-home pay to paying for premiums.
For me, to not be able to spend on something today because my money has been budgeted for paying premiums is not the way to go. A like-minded (but richer) friend once told me that if one puts more than 10 per cent of one's take-home pay into insurance premiums, it's too much.
So the moral of the story here seems to be: Buy some, but not too much.
For what is insurance, after all? It is a bulwark against what might happen. And this is the chink in your armour that insurance agents will exploit - your not knowing that you might need cash for that horrible emergency that will creep up and bite you on your behind.
Insurance is also a means to 'make your money work for you'. That's why agents either frighten you about what might happen in the future (see preceding paragraph) or they draw fancy charts that project fatter outcomes than if you kept your cash in a savings account or in a biscuit tin under your bed.
I've never met an agent who tells me I have enough insurance.
But I think it is a good idea to buy some insurance for hospitalisation and 'dreaded diseases' if one has ageing parents.
My reasons are quite simple. The Medisave component of our CPF savings would probably be used to pay for our parents' hospital bills, for, like it or not, our parents - aged anywhere from their 50s and up - are likely to fall ill and may not have that much in their Medisave.
And if money goes there, what else is left if we ourselves are struck down? This week's news about Kylie Minogue having cancer at age 36 will do wonders to snuff out any of our feelings of invincibility.
Hardly anybody falls sick and dies of 'natural causes' any more.
We can't guarantee our employers will pick up our medical bills either. What if the employer decides that your illness is going to be too long-term and costly and retrenches you?
So maybe one should review one's resources in this area and buy - some - products from a friendly insurance agent. Listen to him and your own needs but don't buy all his hokum.
I wouldn't want to plan my life to death and carry the equivalent of a soldier's full-pack containing all my life's plans and financial arrangements.
Just give me a smallish backpack. I'd walk lighter, enjoy the trip more and roll with what comes.

March 15, 2005
You've come a long way, SDU (by Chiang Yin Pheng)
THE Social Development Unit (SDU) is 21 this year, all grown up, and oh, so different from what it was like at its inception.

People used to snigger at this Government-backed matchmaking agency for graduates as help tossed out to the Single, Desperate and Ugly. Few wanted to admit to going for its activities.
Nowadays, people are quipping that SDU members are Sexy, Desirable and Unique.
Take a look at the agency's website here and you'>On offer are courses on how to dance the Argentine tango, do yoga and start a business. Or you may want to go for an overnight screening marathon of Korean drama shows, high tea or a steamboat dinner; or you may want to try out 'silent dating' or sign up for computer matchmaking.
In whatever form, these are all opportunities for the agency's members to mingle, and these activities can be had at subsidised fees, which, together with membership dues, are all payable through Giro too, thank you.
In other words, it's tax-payer funded networking, good for making contacts who might be useful on the professional front, for finding like-minded friends and yes, for finding a potential spouse in a by-the-way fashion.
What a difference 21 years make. Ask me. I was there when SDU was born, in somewhat awkward fashion.
SDU began by putting its feelers out to unmarried graduates in the civil service, where I worked for most of the 80s. My colleagues at the time and I, fresh graduates in our early 20s, were all feeling a little sheepish about having been singled out by then Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew as the nation's 'problem'.
In 1983, he had chided our kind, saying that not enough of us were getting married, and that the women among us were insisting on 'marrying up' (that is, getting hitched only to guys doing better than we were) and then putting off having babies or not having them at all.
The upshot of this treaded the shaky ground of eugenics: Fewer babies by graduates meant less brain power and fewer leaders to keep the nation chugging.
The weighty issue of the nation's sustainability aside, my colleagues and I sat down in a hall within the then National Library in Stamford Road to fill out a lengthy multiple-choice questionnaire that poked into what we looked for in a spouse and even whether we were in a steady relationship at the time.
The SDU was set up in 1984, shortly after that Inquisition. Memberships were duly handed out and a whole slew of activities organised.
Within the ministries in the civil service, 'social development officers' - usually married - were given the job of sussing out which graduates 'needed help'.
Pamphlets listing activities were handed out. My in-tray was given a miss because I had declared in the questionnaire that I was in a steady relationship at the time.
My colleagues - mostly 20-somethings - signed up and went on these activities. The going joke at the time was that they were trying to 'get hitched' - to take a leaf from the headline of this newspaper's report of PM Lee's speech.
Some in their late 30s or older, however, were repeatedly unsuccessful in their applications. They were invariably told these events were already 'full'. The explanation came soon enough: SDU said it was focusing its resources on younger members who had a higher likelihood of getting married. It was like telling these senior singles that they were no-hopers!
Two years later, shortly after I split up with my then-boyfriend, those pamphlets mysteriously started appearing in my in-tray. (SDU didn't have a website then.) The office grapevine must have given the resident social development officer news of my 'available-again' status, I reckoned.
For a lark, I went to one of those 'tea dances' at the Mandarin Hotel's nightspot, The Kasbah, with my colleague, K. That afternoon's event was to leave us laughing for a long time afterwards - and even now, which is why I've decided to talk about this - about how much like a cattle market it was.
We turned up duly at The Kasbah's entrance and were told by SDU officials to pick a table number by drawing lots from a container.
We were to learn that there was nothing random about this exercise when we insisted on being at the same table. An SDU official simply reached into the bowl and fished out two lots marked 2A and 2B.
'Go sit at Table 2, please', she said.
We found the table to be a low round one with four seats. It didn't take us long to realise that the guys were being allowed to sail in and sit at any table they wished.
How gauche. The drawing of lots was simply to ensure that every table had its complement of two women!
Soon, two fellows arrived (separately) at our table and took the remaining seats. The one who sticks in my mind even now looked like a Singapore Everyman, bespectacled and just a tad awkward.
'Hi. My name is Steven,' he ventured stiffly, sticking his hand out for a handshake. He was an engineer, is all I can recall about him.
He didn't say much else through the afternoon. Didn't drink. Didn't smoke. Didn't dance to Madonna and the whirling disco ball.
Even when K and I made light of how the guys didn't have to draw table numbers while the girls had to, he couldn't be drawn to talk or even laugh about the 'situation'.
Over the next couple of years, I was to marvel at the SDU's creativity.
An invitation to tour Japan for a month came from the Japanese government to Singapore in 1989. The Japanese, ever the gracious hosts, wanted to show 24 of Singapore's civil servants the Land of Cherry Blossoms, ostensibly to oil the wheels of cooperation down the road, when these individuals went up the ranks in public service.
SDU stepped in and decreed that the all-expenses trip was to be only for unattached civil servants who were its members and aged 30 and under, and that the group was to comprise 12 men and 12 women.
Convenient, really. SDU didn't have to do or spend anything to throw 24 young people together for holiday at Japan's expense. Who was to say Cupid wouldn't shoot some arrows?
As it turned out, romance bloomed between at least two people and they are now married and with children.
I came back from the trip with no boyfriend but with $800 in spending money blown on Japanese souvenirs, including a single, pinkish Mikimoto pearl threaded on a gold chain.
SDU was, in the mean time, building up its register of members, even as it released yearly figures to the press of how many among its members tied the knot. The figure after 21 years stands at 34,000.
Today, the SDU is located in a colonial bungalow in a very nice part of town, still going about its task.
If the website is anything to go by, things are less coy, and dating through the SDU isn't a skeleton in one's closet. In fact, it's regarded as the smart thing to do for networking.
The range of activities and services has expanded to the point where SDU has 12 business 'partners' to take care of the logistics of organising events to get people together, to see the joys of marriage and to get on with it early.
It has become a well-oiled military mission, no more awkward shots in the dark, no more furtiveness.
The website offers an online forum where people exchange views on dating and get their questions on relationships and love answered by an Agony Uncle.
For those who don't like the idea of being matchmade by a computer, SDU offers a one-to-one personalised introduction to someone who could be a life partner.
Those who have gotten married with help from SDU openly tell their stories and show their pictures.
Stuck for a birthday gift for an unhitched friend? Get him or her an SDU membership. It can be a thoughtful gift if marriage figures somewhere on his/her horizon, the website suggests.
All in, getting married is seen as something to be worked at consciously. The road to that end-point also happens to be dotted with self-improvement classes, opportunities to grow as a person and to climb the career ladder.
My, SDU, at 21, you've come a long way.
Chiang Yin Pheng, the Deputy Editor of ST Interactive, found her Other Half after leaving the civil service and without SDU. Are any of you out there active in SDU?Email her your recent experiences.

March 11, 2005

The many facets of the Asian woman

By Ong Soh Chin
Senior Writer

THERE are 1.5 billion women in Asia. So it is no wonder that the world's marketeers are waking up to their vast economic potential.

But cracking this nut is going to be difficult for two reasons: One, there is not enough information available, and two, there is no such thing as a definitive Asian woman.
These points are evident from the survey by MasterCard International, on women's advancement in the Asia-Pacific region, launched earlier this week. MasterCard plans more reports on women's consumer habits which will be released later this year.
The advancement survey compared the socio-economic level of women to men in 13 markets: Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, China, Vietnam, Japan, Korea, New Zealand, Philippines, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Thailand and Indonesia.
Four key indicators were used: Participation in the labour force, tertiary education, managerial positions and 'above median income'.
The first two were objective and based on hard statistics, while the latter two were subjective - based on the women's attitudes about themselves.
In other words, the study asked women if they saw themselves as being in managerial positions, or if they felt they were earning more than the median income. The idea behind this was to gauge how positively or negatively they felt about their place in the workforce.
The final figures showed how close or how far women in each country came to being equal to men.
A score under 100 indicated gender inequality in favour of males, while one above 100 indicated inequality in favour of females. A score of 100 would indicate complete equality.
The study, conducted among some 300 women in each country between November and December last year, brought forth some interesting insights, including the revelation that Thailand (92.3) and Malaysia (86.2) had the highest overall scores. Singapore (61.3) ranked eighth - after China, Australia, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Vietnam.
Thailand scored 131.9 for tertiary education as it was discovered that more women than men went to universities.
On closer inspection, however, the results proved more problematic than enlightening.
For one, the study was hampered by the lack of available statistics in certain countries, as Dr Yuwa Hedrick-Wong, MasterCard International Asia Pacific's economic adviser, admitted. China, New Zealand and Vietnam had neither data on women's participation in the labour force nor figures on how many women have had tertiary education.
Taiwan, Malaysia, Philippines and Indonesia had no figures on women in tertiary education.
Dr Sharon Siddique, a development sociologist and deputy director of the Institute of South-east Asian Studies, calls it a particularly Asian problem, the lack of detailed gender-based data.
'I could get a breakdown according to income or province, but not gender,' she said.
The implications of this data dearth are huge. With the increasing numbers of Asian women entering the workforce and making consumer decisions, it would be a fallacy to think of women as a 'niche' market.
'Gender has become an important component in looking towards the future of any group, whether one is a marketeer or a banker,' said Dr Siddique.
However, categorising the Asian woman is in itself a difficult and delicate task.
While Japan and Korean cultures are relatively homogenous, countries like Singapore, Malaysia and China are ethnically and religiously diverse.
Dr Siddique's own research shows that four out of five Asian women live in China or India. There are also 327 million Muslim women in Asia, which means the majority of Muslim women in the world are Asian, not Arab.
'All this complexity makes it difficult to tell their story,' said Dr Siddique.
What is clear, said Dr Hedrick-Wong, citing David Landes' famous book, The Wealth And Poverty Of Nations, is that the emancipation of women is among the most important factors in modern economic development. 'Societies that exclude women are doomed to fail,' he said.
So, while the MasterCard survey has its flaws, it is a step in the right direction. With the company stating its intention to update these figures yearly, a better picture of who the Asian woman is will eventually emerge. And not a moment too soon.